How Do I Help my Kids Get Through the Divorce?

How Do I Help my Kids Get Through the Divorce?

How Do I Help my Kids Get Through the Divorce?

  It is not unusual for me to be asked about counseling for families and children going through a process of separation or divorce. Obviously, it is a traumatic time for everyone involved, as one of the main foundations of life that family members had come to depend on – the family structure itself – undergoes a complete transformation. Interestingly enough, some children are able to come through this process in a positive state and return to full emotional health, ...

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Tuesday Thought

When we see someone with anxiety, that anxiety is always carrying a message for us. It wants us to understand something through hearing that person’s voice with full presence and respect. Anxiety does not simply appear through a genetic lottery, it comes because all is not well, and is a signal that something larger is occurring beneath the surface.

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My Word for 2016

One word I have really embraced so far this year as being completely meaningful for almost everyone is the word sustainable. It is not for me or anyone else to come up with a one-size-fits-all definition of emotional health, either for individuals or families. In fact, it is possible for someone to be quite satisfied with their way of life, even if I don’t feel comfortable with all their choices, as long as that way is sustainable for a significant period of ...

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Unexplained Anger, Part 2

There is a real difference between listening to someone, and actually hearing them. We all can sense this instinctively, and your kids and teens are no exception! When we listen, the words are being processed by our brain into understandable terms, and we can make sense of the language and words being used. However, hearing someone involves much more than this – it means to honour and choose to gain a better understanding of what that person is trying to tell us, and truly ...

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Quick Tip #1: Unexplained Anger

Hardly a week goes by that I don’t deal with a situation involving a child or teen (or tween!) in a family reacting with extreme anger at home. This can come out in countless different ways, and in both physical and verbal forms. Many parents throw their arms in the air in frustration, or worse, “fire back” with similar intensity, and only worsening an already challenging situation. How can this vicious cycle be stopped? Though every scenario is different, one of ...

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Self-Harm and Your Teen (or Child!)

Self-Harm and Your Teen (or Child!)

You have probably heard of it before. You may well know someone it has affected. Without question, it is a phenomenon on the rise in teen and even child culture, and has been for a decade or more. No matter whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, self-harm is a fact that is demanding our attention more and more, and is likely here to stay in our society. I can remember my own introduction to the world of self-harm, ...

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Can You Be Responsible, for Once?

Can You Be Responsible, for Once?

We live in an age where parenting and family life look far different than they did not only several decades ago, but even just a few years past. There was a time (ask someone who grew up in the 1950s or 60s) where large families with several children were commonplace throughout society. I have often wondered what it might have been like to have 5 or 6 siblings, rather than the 3 I have in real life; would we have ...

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Solitary Confinement for Your Child

Solitary Confinement for Your Child

We need people. I’m going to say it again, so get ready. Here it is: We need people. There is absolutely no way around it, when it comes to finding our true voices and being in our healthiest form. When we choose to connect with others and create meaningful relationships with family, peers, and colleagues, we actually feed a basic need within us – the need to belong. Let me go a little bit further: if any one of us ...

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The Secret Joyful Families Know

The Secret Joyful Families Know

It is often far too easy to fall into the trap of believing “the grass is greener on the other side”. I have to look no further than my own front lawn to remind me of this old axiom! Even after two years of learning the essentials of in-ground sprinklers, there never seems to be any lack of brown spots in my front yard. In the same way, it can also appear that other families around us have it all ...

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Making Your Kids Disappear

Making Your Kids Disappear

There is a question to which everyone has an answer, whether they realize it or not. Here is the question: who are the people in your life with whom you feel safest? If we know that safety is actually a feeling of comfort, then we can ask the question a different way:who in your life do you feel most comfortable with? Our answer will reveal much about who we spend our time with, and the actions we choose in order ...

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